depth

maccosmetics: Backstage at Gaurav Gupta, M∙A∙C SS13 Wills...

Wed, 07 Nov 2012 08:56:16 -0500

Backstage at Gaurav Gupta, M∙A∙C SS13 Wills Lifestyle India Fashion Week

Backstage at Gaurav Gupta, M∙A∙C SS13 Wills Lifestyle India Fashion Week

Backstage at Gaurav Gupta, M∙A∙C SS13 Wills Lifestyle India Fashion Week

Backstage at Gaurav Gupta, M∙A∙C SS13 Wills Lifestyle India Fashion Week

Backstage at Gaurav Gupta, M∙A∙C SS13 Wills Lifestyle India Fashion Week

Backstage at Gaurav Gupta, M∙A∙C SS13 Wills Lifestyle India Fashion Week

maccosmetics:

Backstage at Gaurav Gupta, M∙A∙C SS13 Wills Lifestyle India Fashion Week

Backstage at Dev r Nil, M∙A∙C SS13 Wills Lifestyle India...

Wed, 07 Nov 2012 08:51:17 -0500

Backstage at Dev r Nil, M∙A∙C SS13 Wills Lifestyle India Fashion Week

Backstage at Dev r Nil, M∙A∙C SS13 Wills Lifestyle India Fashion Week

Backstage at Dev r Nil, M∙A∙C SS13 Wills Lifestyle India Fashion Week

Backstage at Dev r Nil, M∙A∙C SS13 Wills Lifestyle India Fashion Week

Backstage at Dev r Nil, M∙A∙C SS13 Wills Lifestyle India Fashion Week

Backstage at Dev r Nil, M∙A∙C SS13 Wills Lifestyle India Fashion Week

TREND: definitely want to try this out

-af

-

Sat, 03 Nov 2012 18:58:34 -0400

Numb.

Pro-choice

Fri, 02 Nov 2012 11:28:00 -0400

I’m trying to gather my thoughts as best I can. I was doing fine until the morning I found out. The past three months have been a roller coaster of unwanted emotions that have brought my heart to the present place it is. I have this incredible ability to love and also to hate. Love usually wins me over.

That morning I knew what I had to do, and three months later I did it. The choice was for me, for him, and for our existing off springs. I never felt so sure of a choice and so determined to make it happen. Money, emotions and time wasn’t going to stop me.

Before I continue, I want the one person who stood by me like a man to know that I truly, genuinely, love you. You have shown me that you are strong, smart and most importantly how to love someone. You have accomplished learning to love again, because this experience definitely expressed all the things I think love should be. And that doesn’t mean loving only me.

Three months ago I had nausea, dizzy spells, sleeping spells, sore breasts and a fetus inside me. I wasn’t myself. Knowing the future I have planned, that he has planned. I knew what I could handle and what I couldn’t handle. I see the potential he has and I know I have. Having our kids and raising them with equal love and attention, I couldn’t afford to neglect the current circumstance of being a young parent with all the pressure to grow up and nurture another human being. It was a completely selfish thought to bring another life into my world and only give mediocrity. Especially now that I am knowledgeable of what a parent should give and what a child deserves.

So I made the best decision for us all. That day 10/31 I went in with one motive, it was to save us. As I lifted my dress to determine if there really was a fetus inside, fear consumed my whole body. Trying to concentrate on my job for us all, I glanced at the monitor I saw the baby. At that moment it wasn’t “just a fetus” anymore. I saw my baby. And right after that moment an enormous amount of sadness overcame me. I moved to the next room, the last words I whispered before the doctor came in to sedate me was “ I’m sorry, If I have you…I won’t be good to you.” And that was the honest truth.

My whole perspective on “life” has changed since that day. And it is definitely bittersweet. I don’t regret my decision, I am happy for us. Though my mother gene will never fade, it is inevitable to know I have one more baby. That’s the reality of it all. There are so many bad things in this world but this opportunity to have one more shot gives me hope to make it better, for myself, my daughter, for him, his daughter and the life that graced my womb. For the life that reminded me that it’s okay to be young, and want more. This motivates me to only love harder and fight harder to this complicated cycle called “Life”.

Artistry M.A.C make-up brushes 22 brushes to enhance the eye,...

Sun, 02 Sep 2012 12:16:00 -0400

Artistry M.A.C make-up brushes

22 brushes to enhance the eye, they say “eyes are the window to an individuals soul” so they say. With these tools you can create any look that is desired. The brush I personally can’t live without is the 266 eyebrow brush, along with my the gel eyeliner brush. With these tools I feel confident in knowing my eyes can create an illusion of whatever I am feeling that day. I have come to appreciate the job of each tool. Being an artist, your brushes are to be used with your creativity at your own risk.

With that being said these tools are like my weapon to the world to express who I am, in the art of my canvas: your face.

” all ages, all races, all sexes”

established in 1994 M.A.C (Make-up Art Cosmetics) started a revolution through cosmetics. Exposing not only Professional Make-up Artists to the phenomenal opportunity to experiment with face and body art but to have each individual experience being an artist through creativity and passion through consuming these Pro Products.

Thank you Frank Angelo and Frank Toskan!

founders of M.A.C Cosmetics

Eyeliner is a cosmetic used to define the eyes. It is applied...

Mon, 27 Aug 2012 09:38:44 -0400

Eyeliner is a cosmetic used to define the eyes. It is applied around the contours of the eye to create a variety of aesthetic illusions

Eyeliner was first used in Ancient Egypt and Mesopotamia as a dark black line around the eyes. As early as 10,000 BC, Egyptians wore various cosmetics not only for aesthetics but to protect the skin from the desert sun.Research has also speculated that eyeliner was worn to protect the wearer from the evil eye. The characteristic of having heavily lined eyes has been frequently depicted in Egyptian art. They produced eyeliner with a variety of materials including lead, copper ore and antimony.

itsonbitch:teal awesomeness <3 dare to wear teal

Mon, 27 Aug 2012 09:30:34 -0400

itsonbitch:teal awesomeness <3

dare to wear teal

sister. sister

Fri, 22 Jun 2012 11:31:00 -0400

thought you were my sister what’s the meaning of family?

oh wait i just dismissed her

got so much love for you

but you’ve just became someone i knew

beauty gone to complete waste

ugly is what we tatse

at a loss of words for your behavior smarter than that?

haha oh wait i didn’t figure

you see we lead two very different lives

talking and talking but seems you can’t survive

im a single momma with no baby daddy

but look whos keeping it steady

sister, life ain’t a movie

you roll like that, you will die with envy

so heres the difference between you and i

ill keep my mouth shut

because if they knew the truth bout you, you’d be fucked

you & i come from the same womb

but my friendship with you now rests in a tomb

root.

Tue, 22 May 2012 10:54:00 -0400

So I have this deep appreciation for change. I can’t express the emotions I feel when I think about it. Change can be bittersweet, it reveals itself.

There are a lot on things that occur in life that we can’t control, and it often brings an oblivious negative outlook on most things. Experiencing what I have within the couple past years are extremely mind boggling and sometimes my mind is stressed comprehending it.

Right now I am going through some changes, I am proud I have overcome the great obstacles I have encountered being who I am. It has molded me and crafted me into who I’m being shaped into and I am so excited.

I have been so occupied with the trials and tribulations of my circumstance that, often I have forgotten the whole purpose of succeeding, which is prevailing. My mind is hungry, it is so hungry when I want to research something I can’t stay focused on one thing, and then I get frustrated with myself because my mind is going 100 mph and I can’t contain the excitment of feeding my brain.

So I have decided to set some goals. And those goals will be achieved; they will be achieved for me.

I know right now the reality of it all is the season I am going through is hard. If only you could walk in my shoes for a moment and just feel, hear, touch, and taste what I do, you will understand. There are plenty of reasons to throw in the towel and be done with being genuine, patient and humble. But then I think, what a waste. What a waste of an intelligent heart that has potential of a genius. (smiling) Sure thing a genius.

theory of love

Tue, 08 May 2012 21:34:04 -0400

..surrounded by a crowd, filled with doubt..

..tuning everything around me out..

..wondering whats really for me..

..wondering if love really sets us free..

..not knowing which way to go..

..pulling in all directions..

..leads me to a place i don’t know..

..lost like a child who’s lost her mother..

..knowing shes been alone, she slowly discovers..

..come beginning to end..

..knowing who you were all along..

..it will take some cure for my heart to mend..

..faking a smile day to day..

..hoping this cure will save me and take me far away..

..but slowly im fading..

..color and all..

..sometimes i wonder when its time for my great fall..

..everyday i wait patiently..

..but failed is on my test..

..i think i’ll put my theory of love..

…down to rest…

-a p r y l-

little-

Tue, 08 May 2012 21:28:19 -0400

little parts of me everywhere.

little girl finding some way.

little things so enticing.

little things so rare.

little one who loves to give.

little person who’s realizing.

little does she know.

little are her hands.

little hands always full.

little is her appearance.

little things seem so big.

little things she cant forgive.

little smile.

little frown.

little girl looking down.

little people.

little feelings.

little love.

little friends.

little gifts sent from above.

little understanding.

little wisdom.

little does she know, where she belongs.

little are her wings.

little are her little things.

somehow i seem to find my way around these little things.

somehow i can see the past & little less of what the future brings.

sometimes i look around at the little pieces.

sometimes i feel how it all releases.

every little thing different.

every little piece of me gifted.

little parts of me everywhere…

little parts of my heart, always bare

Worked with Patrick Camacho, John Chu and Peter Quiambao for my...

Mon, 30 Apr 2012 20:32:00 -0400

Worked with Patrick Camacho, John Chu and Peter Quiambao for my first underwater photo shoot. Peter had captured me, modeling in motion. Very happy with the outcome of the video. I look forward to doing more, although this makes me miss me long hair very much. LOL, I have a lot of fun doing this. I am growing with the whole perception of modeling. Definitely something fun to experience with the help of thinking outside the box & appreciating another type of hard work.

ENJOY!

In a place where time doesn’t exist a soul that...

Sun, 29 Apr 2012 20:04:45 -0400

In a place where time doesn’t exist

a soul that captivates every being that drifts

she floats away with deep thoughts

reality she has forgot

deeper into the blue she goes

feeling the freedom in between her toes

she floats with the wind and gazes into the night sky

she has gasped for air, its not the end, now she knows why

underneath the water is a breath of thought

every gasp of air is reality untaught

she has learned the water can reveal

she has learned the air, is what is real

so deep in thought she frees her mind

under water only she controls time

thinking of you

Sun, 29 Apr 2012 08:45:00 -0400

you are beautiful

you will be strong

you will teach me

you will be sad

you will wonder

you will smile

I am your mentor. I will raise you. I will teach you. I will answer your questions. I will smile. I created you in my womb. I will cry for you. I will learn from you. I will stay positive for you.

Thinking of you while I drive home from a long days work, I think of how far I have come as your mother. You have saved me from myself. I am amazed of your growth and I am thankful for your health. Thinking of you reminds why, sometimes I struggle with myself striving to be better. I stress and over analyze most of the time and in the midst of dragging myself down, its you I see at the bottom to bring me back to the top. I’ve always loved children, not of my own. I always knew I would have a passion of taking care of someone, until I had one of my own. I realized I couldn’t give you back or take a break from being your mother.

You are the greatest full time job. Because with the job you give me it’s an everlasting attitude to be the best I can be. We will both benefit from each others lives. You are my little girl that will grow to be 10 x more beautiful than I will ever be. And you will grasp life some can’t. And that my daughter is beauty. Stay strong and continue to sprout with passion. Just you and me, kid

Photo

Mon, 09 Apr 2012 08:37:29 -0400

on top.

Mon, 09 Apr 2012 08:37:17 -0400

on top.

Photo

Mon, 09 Apr 2012 08:36:56 -0400

Virgin to the photography world. There is always a...

Mon, 09 Apr 2012 08:16:39 -0400

Virgin to the photography world. There is always a first….and I had a blast

b l o o m i n g

Sun, 19 Feb 2012 18:36:20 -0500

Its so easy to stumble upon the past. Its easy to get angry when you see, hear or think about the past. I could sit here and say I hate the past. But then I think about it twice and tell myself if the past was never done, You..myself and every other human being would never learn, in every aspect given.

I sit here, and I think about being insecure about his past. But then I think, if his past were never existent…he wouldn’t love me the same. Goes both ways. My love for him is genuine.

Sometimes If we let the past get to our minds, it can and will ruin the future. Everyone has a past and some can’t get over it. It can ruin a lot or it can benefit a lot. I know I have benefited from my past, I have learned the difference between being naive and knowing my worth. I have learned never to let anyone pass infatuation and to hold my guard down. I have learned anger doesn’t solve any issue. I learned to understand myself before understanding another.

I have no doubt. I trust his words. I am consumed by his knowledge and his passion to invest. I hold no record against him and everyday I learn and I grow with him.

The sweetest part is that he shares not only his love with me, but with my daughter. Its really hard for me to gather words to describe the feeling I grasp. But it brings an emotion that is indescribably gorgeous.

His daughter brings such joy. I have grown to care & love her. She is going to grow into such a smart and beautiful girl. I can’t wait to see her bloom.

See, if he or myself never had a past…even though we all get bothered by it from time to time. I never would have shared such a love. He has only brought out the best in me and I look forward to discovering what else I am capable of. I learn from him & I learn with him.

So therefore I am happy for the past, for it is only a lesson learned that will bring me to be mindful of the future.

“The past is beautiful, for it only shapes your heart, mind & soul”

suffocation

Sat, 18 Feb 2012 04:56:00 -0500

I don’t believe in “finding yourself” I think that’s a petty excuse for people to feel bad for you. It is ludicrous, there is not a certain period in time you can gather all the puzzle pieces. Life is full of the unexpected. Every day is a new lesson and the world is always evolving.

Nothing is sacred now-a-days. Trust is foreign. and forgiveness is rare. The simple things are forgotten and love is superficial. Truth has been twisted and lies have become second nature.

Its hard to tell who is real and who is not. The world is a whole conspiracy and I wish sometimes I can just leave. Death is not my answer. No, but sometimes I wish there was a “sleep” button where all is completely blank.

The struggle of life is just to live. And the expectations are incredible. Sometimes my mind is exhausted just thinking about tomorrow. But the “goal” in life is to succeed and to conquer the day. Hell, I do that but sometimes it’s just depressing.

Finding yourself means learning from all the crazy shit life throws at you and determining if you’re strong enough to hold on. Depression comes and goes. But the beauty in finding yourself is to be genuine about choices, trust, forgiveness, and most importantly love.

Mistakes are a given. But fixing one’s self is a choice. It’s all up to you.